Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Bitch Please! In Response to "Mommy Blogging: a Step Back for Feminism?"

What does a feminist use as a contraceptive? Her personality. 

Ok, ok, I'm thinking of one feminist in particular.

I googled "Mommy Bloggers" because I like to read about other mothers and their struggles and triumphs and I find a sense of community among other mommy bloggers.

Among the top links for "Mommy Bloggers", I clicked on an incredibly offensive and uneducated article about the 'downfall' of mommies who blog. I dare you to read this 'essay'.

The writer is Amana Manori and she is a self-proclaimed feminist. And a mother. [GASP!] I know. I was shocked too. Ironically, the blog (The Purple Fig) that Ms Manori wrote for on Huffington Post, only one month ago, is no where to be found but this article remains as a controversial link on the HP Canada site.

Let's see what Ms. Manori has to say about us mommy bloggers, shall we?

"Mommy blogs that present neurotic, emotionally unstable, kid-crazed mothers, is a misuse of [...] opportunity. [...] You know, the blogs that give you the unsettling impression that the writer arrived in this world the same day their child was born"

Seriously? You're a mother? I honestly find that very hard to believe. When most mothers have been chasing around a toddler, scrubbing pee out of the carpet, cleaning up the legos for the 400th time today, and dying for a shower because it's been over three days since the last one, we are likely to be a bit of a mess. Unstable? No. Exhausted? Yes! Does it mean we can't handle it? Absolutely not.

Lady, being a mother is the hardest job in the world. If you were a good mother, you would understand this. Instead, I picture you choosing overtime at the office instead of quality time with your lovely daughter. Because that's what a good 'feminist' would do. A good mother, feels guilty for yelling at her son when he didn't listen to 'no'. A good mother, feels triumph when she hears the tinkle hit the potty. A good mother, never stops thinking about what's best for her children. A good mother who will always meet her childrens needs first does not equal kid-crazed.

"These women present their lives in a way that suggests that their lives gained meaning at the point of parenthood with nothing before..."

Yes, I would agree that my life and purpose became so much clearer the moment that I pulled the boy from my womb. My life before? I was a serial dater with very few meaningful relationships. I took silly, typical jobs where the norm was to be laid off. I was horrible with money - never saved a dime. I smoked cigarettes, dabbled with a few recreational narcotics, and danced in clubs until I was sweaty. Was my life meaningless? No! It was fun, disorganized, and spiritual. The life lessons wrapped up in those years are so important to the life I live now.

"They probably didn't set out to write a blog that depicts them as a crazy mother who is obsessed with canning baby food or the latest gizmo for their child's nursery. [...] These bloggers likely have the noble intentions to create a forum where women know that they are not alone in their experiences."

Umm ya. Anyone? No. I am going to suggest, Ms Manori, that you NEVER EVER write about motherhood or mommy bloggers again.

Canning baby food is a choice women make because we don't want our children to ingest pesticides, preservatives and other things we can't pronounce. Thanks to feminists, we were taught that natural is better. Breastfeeding is better. I was unable to breastfeed and was hesitant to give my son formula because women like you taught me that it was poison. Our "noble intention" is to write. We first choose to write, then we find community. I'm sure as a feminist, you bond with other feminists. I am a mother, I bond with other mothers - who tell the truth about their experiences.

Ms Manori, there are a few paragraphs in your blog that subliminally suggest that you would much rather be a mother who stays at home and cans organic baby food all day. Perhaps, you would much rather tell the truth about your life as a mother.

"Instead of implying that we need to become obsessive about our childcare duties, it would be inspiring if these women aspired to be domestic trailblazers and reframe the idea of women in the house."

Really? Did you even read a mommy blog? EVER? This is exactly what we are doing. Find me a blog that says 'This is how I cook dinner, clean up the kids, freshened up my make-up, and vacuumed the house all so my husband can come home from his tough day and relax'. You will, however, find blogs that read 'I pass my husband the kids as soon as he walks through the door. And then we argue about who's day was tougher.' That, my not-so-friend, is trailblazing.

Our children are small human beings who need to be guided through life, taught right from wrong, fed, clothed, washed, cleaned, hugged, kissed, loved. I will not let ANYONE tell me that blogging about this wonderful gift and important job is a setback to society. I'm calling Bullshit!

If anything, mommy bloggers are doing society a favour. We're telling the truth about how being a stay-at-home mother (because I feel like that's who you're really talking about here, Ms Manori) is way tougher than your important job in your cubicle office. These are our stories, our lives. On a daily basis, we conquer our own guilt, limitations, and fatigue. It's downright ugly and messy but it's unconditional love. The kind you put before your own needs, no matter what.





Tuesday, March 26, 2013

If I Had A Million Dollars: The Organizing Edition

Um ya. My family lives on an income of peanuts and pennies. The likelihood of us using these products are slim to none. But if I ever win that Facebook shared lottery ticket, these products make it to my short list!

Becky Higgins - Project Life
http://www.beckyhiggins.com/products/

First of all, this website is very impressive. It sells the product as a 'way of life'. It's like scrapbooking but takes less time and creativity. All the lovely inserts come with the Project Life package and you just have to write a few cute things and add some photos. Life..for lazy people. Brilliant idea. I sort of hate Becky for not letting me think of this first.

The beautiful basic items       



One of the lovely core packs.


Apothecary Jars to Organize the Pantry

I'm pretty sure the cheapest price I saw on these jars (because they are beautiful and I love them and want to use them to store my - everything!) was $80/piece. Wha? How many are in this pantry? One...two...three...that's a lot of pennies to save up!

Wait a minute - This is all candy!



A Craft Room

What creatively crafty woman doesn't dream about a craft room. The sign on my craft room door would read "No Kids Allowed! Beat it!"

It's a nice dream to have

An Entryway Bench/Organizer

Seriously beautiful way to organize. I have about two feet of spare space in my entryway but this is totally plausible. Only problem, is that you have to keep it orgainzed. So while it helps keep you organized, you -meaning I - still have to hide all those pesky grocery bags, junk mail, and pizza boxes.

Everything has a place. A place for everything.


Something That's Really Nothing

So turns out, I'm a completely unmotivated blogger. And mother.

I actually Googled  "How To Organize Your Life" but only got a list of cleaning tips. Because there's nothing an unmotivated person needs more than cleaning tips. Let's try Pinterest. Better but still a collection of boards with inspirational quotes and 'healthy habits'.

Being a mom is a job and a half most days. It takes a village the other days. I'm a single mom with almost zero free-time. And even the free time isn't actually "free" time. It's time to have a shower, catch up on dishes and maybe have a nap. Right now, I'm sitting next to my son as he quietly looks at the pictures in his favorite book. This is almost as rare as me peeing alone.

My house is a mess 24/7. Organize to me means putting the boy's toys into a bucket or tossing them under the couch. It means rinsing the dishes in the sink so it looks like a stack of clean-ish dishes. I don't make beds. What do I do? I change diapers. I make meals and snacks for the boy. I shop for meals and snacks for the boy. I clean the boy. I take the boy outside to play. I make sure the boy has clean clothes. I entertain the boy. I put the boy to bed and I wake him up. I wipe boogers. Clean up barf. And I procrastinate potty training.

I really do need to organize my life. I need to pick a job and stick to it. I need to organize my house to make cleaning easy and feel like I'm cheating at housecleaning. And I need to eat something other than chocolate milk and omelets.

I'm writing a blog about something that's really nothing. Just to write and get the motivated ball rolling. I hope to see you on the Twitter or the Pinterest. I need to get out of my pajamas and in to the social network of mommy bloggers. It's likely where I'll find the motivation I'm looking for. Maybe even some inspiration.

Let's make a mommy-blogger out of me yet. Now off I go to deal with these wretched cramps! {sigh}

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Baby Mustache

Guess who accidentally left a pen in the playroom? And guess who drew himself a mustache with said pen?


Oops!